Buying a Home with Your Partner: The Art of Compromise
The process of buying your first home together comes with a lot of choices and big decisions. It can mean substantial compromises on your wants, and clarity on your absolute needs and deal breakers. You will learn a lot about yourself and your partner along the way, so embrace the process to bring you closer as a couple.
Your home plays a central role in your life together – be it entertaining friends, developing hobbies, adopting a pet, or starting a family. Matters of the heart will be housed within these walls. Keeping all these big things in mind while staying within a sensible budget is no small feat.
Further, you and your partner should be on the same page about what you need and what you want. Not only will you need to agree on the location and features, but also a monthly payment that makes you both feel secure. Decide how you will live in your first home and how it fits into your near-future goals. If you haven’t started hyperventilating yet, maybe you haven’t stopped to really think about the weight of it. And if your partner isn’t hyperventilating, label them as the rational one.
Take a deep breath.
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“Compromise” is 70% “promise.”
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Realize that people buy homes all the time, and with the right professionals at your side asking the right questions, you can have a home that is a reflection of who you both are.
The Financial Compromise
Start with your budget. It’s not always what you can afford but what you want to afford. Establishing your budget is the first step of your home search. Sit down together and map out your expenses. This can be a very difficult conversation, so plan ahead and try to keep it light. Often, one person is better with a budget than the other, and that may be why you make a great couple. Financial discussions can be a point of tension. Respect each other’s differences and come up with a plan that works for both. Make sure you leave room in this budget for dates and weekend getaways.
Location, Style, and Features Compromise
Making a list of ideal location, style, and features of your future home is the next step. Again, consider wants versus needs: number of bedrooms and bathrooms, square footage and amount of outdoor space can be deal breakers, whereas an outdated kitchen or unfinished basement with man cave possibilities may be something you can change over time. Know what is non-negotiable and work backwards from there. Give weight to items that cannot change, such as location. Understand as a couple the WHY behind each other’s wants and needs.
Discuss the Plan
Have a conversation with your partner on how this house will be used while you own it. If entertaining is important, you may want a large patio. If you want to adopt a dog, you may want a yard, and you certainly don’t want a condo that doesn’t allow Fido. How long do you plan to live here? Do you feel your career may take you to a different city? These are important questions that factor into your decision. Lastly, don’t put the weight of a forever home on your starter home. Your first home together can still be a dream-for-now home.
Enjoy the journey together. Remember, the word “compromise” is 70% “promise”. We can help.